This year I want to put my mental health and my wants first. The thing about that is I think what I need most is to stop trying to be so perfect. Letting go and giving up on the ideal is the opposite of what most people are striving for right now. People like me however have always been really tough on themselves every day, not just in January, and while sometimes it results in accomplishments I have found it can also lead to disappointment. So this year I am striving to flip what I normally want on its head.
Make Good Brave Decisions
I overthink and it is debilitating at times. I want to make progress and not perfection this year. I want to be more decisive even if I learn that it wasn’t the right choice, I’ll be moving and growing. There are things that I have always wanted that seem scary, risky, and unobtainable. The only way to know that this perception is true is to try and this year, so I’m just going to try.
I’m sorry, I don’t want to write this. However, I feel obligated to write something because I set this blog up with “Embracing Social Media Part 2“. I attempted to post on social media everyday and learn how to have fun with it. Instead I struggled through the process and about halfway through the month, I decided to give up. Yet I still learned a very valuable lesson.
This past month Erin and I started talking about our unpublished book. I was hoping that someday I’d get to write a blog post sharing how we are ready to self-publish, but it turns out this post is going to be very different. I’m sad to say we are shelving our beloved Fan-Zoned. It’s a full book of content, we’ve spent about three years working on it, sent it to a bunch of literary agents, edited it and then sent it out again, we’ve enjoyed rereading it, and we’ve considered reworking it a mess of different ways, and after all that we’ve finally decided to give it a break. The weird thing is, after all this time, we weren’t actually sad to see our “book baby” go.
Sometimes I feel like I give off the appearance that I hate social media. My personal accounts are either abandoned or quiet in terms of which posts are actually shared by me. I’m not resisting social media because I think I’m above it, I’m resisting it because I’m not good at sharing my life with anyone. Even in face-to-face conversation, I don’t want to let people in. I know I should, but it’s hard.
After reading through each of Erin’s posts about how she was able to accomplish her goal of getting healthier, I started looking at my own life to reevaluate how I’ve been doing with my own goals. It didn’t take long to realize I wasn’t as far along as I hoped I’d be by this point in my life, with one goal in particular.