I’m sorry, I don’t want to write this. However, I feel obligated to write something because I set this blog up with “Embracing Social Media Part 2“. I attempted to post on social media everyday and learn how to have fun with it. Instead I struggled through the process and about halfway through the month, I decided to give up. Yet I still learned a very valuable lesson.
This weekend I wore one of my favorite dresses. It is body con with rainbow stripes, and It makes me so happy. I proceeded to go to pick up the best donuts I have ever eaten in my life, and to no surprise sported my “food baby” in the form of belly bloat as I went about living my life. I ate lunch out with a friend I haven’t seen in far too long, I stopped at home and had a salad because I knew it would make my slight sugar headache feel better and then went out to have some drinks and socialize to end the night. I didn’t think twice about any of it. There have been times in the past few years where I would have put far more thought into the calories of that day. That mental headspace would take away from all the good, lovely events that made up my Saturday, which would be such a shame.
This past month Erin and I started talking about our unpublished book. I was hoping that someday I’d get to write a blog post sharing how we are ready to self-publish, but it turns out this post is going to be very different. I’m sad to say we are shelving our beloved Fan-Zoned. It’s a full book of content, we’ve spent about three years working on it, sent it to a bunch of literary agents, edited it and then sent it out again, we’ve enjoyed rereading it, and we’ve considered reworking it a mess of different ways, and after all that we’ve finally decided to give it a break. The weird thing is, after all this time, we weren’t actually sad to see our “book baby” go.
Sometimes I feel like I give off the appearance that I hate social media. My personal accounts are either abandoned or quiet in terms of which posts are actually shared by me. I’m not resisting social media because I think I’m above it, I’m resisting it because I’m not good at sharing my life with anyone. Even in face-to-face conversation, I don’t want to let people in. I know I should, but it’s hard.
After reading through each of Erin’s posts about how she was able to accomplish her goal of getting healthier, I started looking at my own life to reevaluate how I’ve been doing with my own goals. It didn’t take long to realize I wasn’t as far along as I hoped I’d be by this point in my life, with one goal in particular.
According to a weight loss comparison chart that I just looked at, I’ve lost an “an average sized chimpanzee” worth of weight. This fact is obviously great. I’m not denying that and I am so grateful I have had so much success in this endeavor.
That being said there are things I am or have experienced along the way that I didn’t fully anticipate or want. They suck, and I’m going to vent about them.
I’ve lost around 70 lbs this past year. Until last week I hadn’t removed any clothing from my closet. I don’t like spending a lot of money on clothing and I haven’t hit my full goal. So to me it didn’t make sense to invest in new items. The only new clothing I have bought during the journey is a pair of work pants. Stepping into my closet was no longer enjoyable and I decided to give in and tackle the unpleasant project.
I dedicated an entire Sunday to the endeavor. I knew this was going to be a project, but there were many things I learned along the way.